Breaking News From Gaza — The Open Air Prison Loses Five Noble Benefactors

When the irony is thickest, it's best.

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The Gazan Ministry of Health is reporting tonight that five locals killed when a U.S. humanitarian aid drop went horribly wrong were actually wealthy philanthropists (!) — who for the last decade kept hundreds of thousands of poverty-stricken Gazans alive on food stamps as well as funding all the strip’s major hospitals.

The ministry is reportedly asking for a pledge from the U.S. Government for $3.8 billion dollars to offset the loss in humanitarian support that these five magnanimous donors are now unable to provide.

Annually.

According to State Department officials, a numbered bank account in Zurich was also provided.

Dean Maughvet